>
> >In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve,
> >he's dead now.
>
> He actually does the whole trip in much less time--approaching the speed of
> light. Within his frame of reference he has plenty of time to fill
> stockings, etc.. It's travelling at such great speeds that keeps him heavy
> and young.
>
Truth is, Santa's Elves are big acid-jazz fans. Seven of them have formed
a group called "The North Pole Collective." They're working on an album,
to be released on Santa Tune records.
Meanwhile, St. Nick himself is more of a gangsta rap fan. Why else do you
think he goes, "Ho! Ho! Ho!"?
Elson