Hmm... y'all remember this right?
> From: "Pedro Cevallos" <pedro_cevallos@hotmail.com>
> Subject: Are Boards of Canada pedophiles?
>
> I thought the use of children's voices and images in their first album was
> interesting but I thought it was a tad too much in their last EP. What's
> even worse is that when I went to their web site most of the pictures they
> have are of children -- granted, they are never nude or antything like that,
> but I really think they need to get off the children motif. Am I the only
> one here that thinks that way?
Well check this crazy assed mail that found its way to me today.
Boy, the internet is a strange place at times... and it's a small world too,
right Ped'? (ha ha! the irony!)
> PARENTAL ACTION ALERT
> -------- ------ -----
>
> - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) -
> PLEASE READ THIS ENTIRE MESSAGE IF YOU LOVE YOUR CHILDREN
> - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) -
>
>
> TARGET: BOARD OF CANADA
>
> Dear readers,
>
> Thanks to the diligent efforts of renowned European researcher
> Dr. P. Cevallos, a new threat to our children's lives and futures has
been
> unearthed. The purpose of this letter is to educate parents around the
> world so they can take action against this menace, before it does more
> harm!
>
> Perhaps you have heard the sounds of popular musical rock group
> "BOARD OF CANADA" coming from your child's bedroom? Well you better
take a
> closer listen (and look!).. because this music is the music of
PEDOPHILES!
>
> Pick up a copy of their latest CD, "MUSIC HAS THE RIGHT TO CHILDREN",
and
> the evidence is clear:
>
> * The title itself: Music (ie, the musicians) have the right to
children.
> YOUR children! Who knows where they will strike next to get at your
> precious youngsters?
>
> * The cover depicts a group of FACELESS children. As any art historian
> will tell you, whenever children or women are depicted without faces,
it
> is a clear indication of sexual desire and objectification on the part
> of the artist, reducing the subject to a mere "body without a face", in
> other words, a receptacle for sexual outlet only.
>
> It's also quite possible that the children on the cover are recent
> victims of their sick desires, placed unidentifiably on the cover as
> "trophies" to show other pedophiles. On the internet, pedophiles
> regularly place hidden "marks" or "counters" on their pages to indicate
> how many children they've preyed on.
>
> Ask yourself this: if they're not pedophiles, why didn't they show the
> children's faces?
>
> * The CD is a light blue color, a color usual associated with YOUNG
BOYS!!
>
> * The titles, which include red flags like "TELESCOPIC WORKSHOP",
> "SIXTYNINE", "DO THE WHIRL", "PETE STANDING ALONE", all explicit
> references to the disgusting acts they wish to perform. We can only
pray
> to God that young Pete was returned safely to his parents and not cut
> into pieces and buried out behind the big barn.
>
> * The music itself is hypnotizing and bizarre, perfect for lulling young
> children into a trance-like state. In some songs, the sounds of
children
> speaking and laughing can be heard. In one song in particular
> ("AQUARIUM", what pedophile wouldn't like to keep children in their
> homes as some people keep fish?), the word "orange" is repeated and
> followed by the laughter of children. How many times has your precious
> child been offered an orange or other treat in return for some "special
> photographs"? This song is nothing but an instruction manual for child
> abusers!
>
> The last song on the CD has a haunting voice talking about
> constitutional rights and obscenity. Only perverts and smut-peddlers
> need to hide behind this kind of drivel, so don't fall for it! No one
> has the constitutional right to offend another person, especially not
> CHILD MOLESTERS!
>
> The most horrible discovery we made was the song "ROYGBIV" (the Danish
> for "child"). Using sophisticated audio analyis software, we were able
> to detect PENIS-SHAPED sound-waves coming from stereo!! These horrible
> phallic waves of audio energy are directed right at the level necessary
> to probe and fondle innocent young bodies.
>
> * Other Board of Canada album titles are equally frightening: "IN A VAN
> OUT IN THE COUNTRY", "PEEL SESSIONS" (a nickname often used by
> pedophiles for the nude sessions they hold with young children).
>
> If you're not convinced, just take a look at more evidence:
>
> * Board of Canada are from the UK, a hotbed of pedophilic activity
> (recently a group of doctors was arrested when it became known that
they
> regularly touched children while supposedly treating them for disease!)
>
> * Most pedophiles own CD players and can easily get access to Board of
> Canada material.
>
> * There could be other negative effects too: fully 50% of children who
> listened to Board of Canada score BELOW the median level in school.
>
> * On an internet bulletin board called IDM (we're not sure what that
> stands for), pedophiles often gather to discuss techniques of luring
> children with music. For example here are two actual submissions to
this
> bulletin board (warning they may SHOCK you!!)
>
> #1
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Date: Sat, 4 Aug 2001 19:33:55 -0700 (PDT)
> From: Chispas De Muerte <xxxxxxxx@yahoo.com>
> Subject: Re: [idm] Are Boards of Canada pedophiles?
>
> You know I think a lot of BOC's formula for making those
> sounds sort of triggers this " I feel like going for,
> a kid around five or so,
> milk that shit for all its worth.
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> #2
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Date: Sat, 4 Aug 2001 12:33:58 -0700 (PDT)
> From: The soul that creates <xxxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com>
> Subject: Re: [idm] Are Boards of Canada pedophiles? READ!
>
> Are you kidding!?
> Boards of Canada (especially M.H.T.R.T.C.) to me seems
> to be good time music...
> encourage the listener to
> captured,
> CHILDREN!! HINT HINT....there is a message here...it
> says loud and clear,
> CHILDREN!!!!
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> So if you're a parent and you care about your children like all parents
do,
> TAKE ACTION!!!!!!!!!! DESTROY all Board of Canada CDs and records, and
> install filtering software on your PC so your children can't download
> so-called illegal "MP-3" files! They may contain viruses that send your
> address and phone number to pedophiles and other predators!
>
> - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) -
> DO IT FOR THE CHILDREN!!!
> - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) - ( - ) -
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