[acid-jazz] The Bootsville Post! Cuki chart March 04

From: Velanche Stewart (mail_at_urbanlandscapesshow.com)
Date: 2004-03-24 13:42:04

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    you get this mail because you have either subscribed to it, or you are
    affected with a mental illness that causes you to act in a specified manner
    that you are inclined to spend all your disposable income on FUNNY music
    that 99.9% of your family and friends have no hope of understanding!!!!!
    your mum was right, you should have gone to school and got yourself a proper
    life!

    a few people get this circular!!!

     

     

    Increased muscle strength
    Loss in body fat
    Increased bone density
    Lower blood pressure
    Quickens wound healing
    Reduces cellulite
    Improved vision
    Wrinkle disappearance
    Increased skin thickness & texture Increased energy levels
    Improved sleep and emotional stability
    Improved memory and mental alertness
    Increased sexual potency
    Resistance to common illness
    Strengthened heart muscle
    Controlled cholesterol
    Controlled mood swings
    New hair growth and color restore

    Folks, you NEED Sukura Aural Bliss VINYL!!!!!!

    SHIT!!!!!! A Brownswood Tee Shirt! That is one cool dude!

    Cukipapa "Secret undercover espionage classified intelligence information
    mix" exclusively for the Beyond Jazz sample spotters worldwide. Wednesday
    (24/3) from 9 to 11 PM (GMT+1), broadcasted live on .............

     <http://www.urgent.fm/>

     

    Competition time!!!!

    Yes, check this mutha out!!!!! This is no ordinary ear folks! This ear
    contains very complex groups of thallophytes of low organization. The molds,
    mildews, rusts, smuts, mushrooms, toadstools, puff balls that produce some
    of the nastiest beats known in the universe (Hope Tash keeps her tongue
    closer to the front end?) Avoid the sides Tash, avoid the sides girl! This
    ear is responsible for mass destruction on the dance floor especially in
    remix guise for such dudes as Recloose, Slacker, Rednose Distrikt, Hans
    Koller, Jazzanova, Phase Rock etc etc. Note the cartilaginous portion of
    external ear canal: The ceruminous and sebaceous glands in the cartilaginous
    portion of the ear canal combine to produce cerumen, and this what we
    believe makes his beats particularly rough and ready for the bunnies to lose
    it big time on the dance floor. The total length of the ear canal in this
    young man's ear is approximately one inch, which gives it a resonance
    frequency of approximately 3400 Hz, an important frequency region for
    understanding the dirty noises from his drum kit. The first right answer
    outta the bag to who's ear this belongs to wins a wicked weekend in Montreal
    with the man. Runner up wins a whole week!!!!!!

    Even Patient K and Dr Boots have copies????

     

    Soap box: This is the bit where I start throwing all the toys out of the
    pram! Yes, it has come to my attention once again, that while I do my very
    best to bring to your small but ever expanding brain, you know, that part of
    the central nervous system that includes all the higher nervous centres and
    is enclosed within that numbnut of a skull and that is continuous with the
    spinal cord, that downloading and file swapping is having a undesirable and
    negative effort on our funny music scene. All 12 year olds in Belgium stop
    this immediately and get on the bus that says "good ride and respect to
    artists, labels and shops" No Joke, the numbers are really shit and I would
    question anybody that is file sharing, grapping freebie MP3's, copying
    CD-R's to approach the nearest available mirror and have a look at what you
    see. Get a job at a label, a shop, a distribution company and see for
    yourselves just how bad things are. It seems to me that the most
    enthusiastic of the followers in our scene are the ones who are doing it the
    most harm! OK, I'll put the toys back in the pram now! End of soap box! Nice
    pic of a little Cuki yeah?

    Even George got a copy!!!

     

                <http://www.hitoprecords.com/>

    Cuki trip!!!!! On a recent trip to Madrid, we tried to contact David Beckham
    and Posh Spice for a little interview on why Spain is different to other
    European countries? We had to settle and make do with Rainer Trüby instead.
    Anyways, any soulful peep who wears his Japanese Jeans at half mast is
    alright by me. Roll on with your wise words Mr Trüby. "Spain is Different",
    through the eyes of a C.E.G.D.J.

    Why is Spain different? I've been asking myself this question over the last
    two weeks. Luckily I had the chance to visit this magic country twice during
    this period to find out more...

    Generally you could say that Spain is hotter than most countries, which
    means that the blood temperature of these people is warmer too. So the
    people are often "hot-blooded" or as they wood say "caliente." And when they
    get even more caliente after a few chupitos in numerous bars they naturally
    don´t want to go to bed so they love their "fiesta" even more than their
    "siesta." So around 4am you can find the first party people arriving at the
    club. Around 6am it could be the central European guest DJs turn, who has
    been struggling to keep awake the past four hours, to take over a packed
    party-hard dancefloor full of smiling Spanish. The central European guest DJ
    might even be asked the magic phrase "más caña hombre!!!" which means that
    there is still demand for more bpm´s far beyond the 130 bpm range. Around
    8am the energy level on the "pista" (dancefloor) could reach its climax and
    when the night is over maybe around 9 or 10-ish am the central European
    guest DJ has two possibilities: If he is very lucky he gets invited by a
    smiling Spanish girl to come to the "Afterrr" (which means Afterhour in
    "Spanglish"). If she really wants to encourage the C.E.G.D.J. (Central
    European Guest DJ) she adds the word: "venga," sometimes in combination with
    the word "vamos" ("let´s go"). The healthier alternative (in terms of sleep,
    not calories!) is to go and have churros in the barrio: Butter-fried sweet
    sticks dipped in pure chocolate to prevent you from a very possible chupito
    "resaca" (hangover).

    Musically Spain has a lot to offer: You can get "bacalao" (codfish) which is
    a musical genre that some of my fellow German people love to dance to in
    touristic isolation, for example on the famous "Ballermann" area in
    Mallorca: uno, dos, tres - caramba! Sometimes they add the word "olé,"
    because they adopt Spanish pretty quickly!

    The Spanish DJs divide their musical styles in 3 categories which are quite
    simple:

    1. "más tech": cañero-style which can be slightly harder..

    2. "más deep": very popular at the moment, the deeper side of House..

    3. "más funky": anything, well, funky...

     

    This particular compilation called "Spain Is Different" which I have the
    pleasure to write these liner notes for would fit best in category 3,
    because it is simply funky, but more than that it is very "different" too,
    like the talents that El Gran Lapofsky (a lovely U.S. fella who speaks
    really good Spanish and runs the excellent HiTop label in Madrid) has put
    together on this CD/LP. It has a lot of humour and the influences come from
    Jazz, Latin, Funk and Brazilian music. You will hear acoustic guitars, some
    Flamenco claps and even a hint of "paso doble" shining through on one track.
    Versatile but with a definite Spanish (different) twist!

     

    But apart from the nightlife and the music there are many more good reasons
    to visit and experience this truly special country: the obvious ones are of
    course the sun, the beaches and impressive, diverse landscapes. Then you get
    high quality football and incredible "comida" (food), which ranges from
    fresher-than-fresh "mariscos" (seafood) to tastier treats like "Butifarra"
    (a type of blood-sausage) or the Mallorcan "Sobrasada" which can easily
    impress even a Bavarian butcher.

     

    Through the eyes of a German the Spanish punctuality definitely deserves a
    mention: just add approximately 29 minutes to the appointment time and
    you´ll be alright. This results in the Spanish being some of the least
    stressed-out people...

     

    But the most important reason why "Spain is Different" is definitely because
    of its people. They are simply "de puta madre" ("top notch," very freely
    translated)! "Disfrutar de la vida" (to enjoy life...) is the infectuous
    guideline and rightly so...

     

    So I will go home after I have finished these lines and I will open a pack
    of pipas, a bottle of 1996 vintage Rioja Reserva (which has to rest for 2
    years in oak barrels to get its magic flavour) and maybe have some Manchego
    cheese too...:

     

    Salud España, sí que eres differente!

    Rainer Trüby 2004

     

     

    Respect to David at HiTop and Herr Trüby for a nice job on the comp. Nuff
    respect to my boys Germain, Jesus and javi too. And on the subject of Spain,
    we head straight to Spain's greatest ever achievement, the Chupa Chup!

    Flava flav - Big up the PP Sales massive and in particular 'Hamburg in da
    house' for the endless supply of the world famous Chupa Chup at Midem 04 and
    selected areas these past few weeks. Cuki fav flavour of recent weeks has to
    be the super sour lemon jobbie that is absolutely the fizziest thing to hit
    my tongue since the day I lost leave of my brain cell and experimented with
    battery acid as an alternative to the taste of my then girlfriend.

    On the subject of PP Peeps, you can .........

     <http://www.metronomic-family.com/>

    Mr Mann! You get a mention next time out! Cuki luvs ya Chupa's too. More
    than ya Fray Bemtos thats for sure ;)

     <http://www.gonkyburg.com/>

     

               
    ***the bla bla bla bit***
    I just couldn't be asked to write a witty little comment about the tracks
    I'm into. I know you all gonna get muffed and confused and extremely
    emotional and upset, but I will leave to Nippon and Speedy and a whole host
    of other worthy B and C list mercenaries who love to prostitute themselves
    to write about the tracks we're into. I mean, it gets so frigging boring,
    and I should know, I was the person of subnormal intelligence who started
    this whole farcical episode of doing charts and chat and other tings in the
    very beginning. I'm just gonna list the damn titles and hope you can hang
    around long enough to catch them. They are all great, which don't mean you
    go searching for them on the web for a free download right!!!!!
     
     

    *

            Banzai Republic - Where the fun starts early in the morning (Music
    for Dreams) CD-R
    *

            Teddy Rok Seven - Universal Four (Jupitor) CD
    *

            Peven Everett - Kissing game (Kindred Spirits) CD-R
    *

            Amel Larrieux - Giving something up (Bliss life) CD
    *

            Intuit feat. Andy Bey - Planet Birth/Western sunrise (Xantone Blacq
    remix) (Compost) 12"
    *

            Jef Gilson et "Malagasy" - Zao (Isma'a) CD-R
    *

            Collage - 12'50 (Wool recordings) CD-R
    *

            RSL - The mast (Love will be strong)(Subtub players) CD-R
    *

            Francisco Mora - Amazona (Kindred Spirits) 12"
    *

            Magicnumber - Fly away (Liquid people mix)(Stereo Deluxe) 12"
    *

            John Arnold - Inside (Henrik Schwarz mix)(Ubiquity) CD-R
    *

            The Q Continuum - Spread love (Jupitor) 12"
    *

            Build An Ark - Peace With Every Step (Todosonidos) CD
            
    *

            Various - Worldwide 4 (Talkin Loud) CD-R
            
    *

            Beatfanatic - Electromagnetic colours (Raw Fusion) 12"
    *

            Rima - Subdued/O Vento dira (Amp Fiddler & Rima remixes)(Compost)
    12"
    *

            Porks Watch - Million Toes (Extented & Marion Cobra remixes)(Q-Tape)
    CD-R
    *

            Paul Murphy - Jazz Rooms (Spiritual South remix)(Afro Art) CD-R
    *

            Scott Jacoby - I like you/International anthem (Fukutomi & DJ Mitsu
    remixes)(Irma) 12"
    *

            Jonny Miller - Essi (Wah Wah 45) CD-R
    *

            NSM -Turn it up (Virgin) CD-R & 12"
    *

            A Bossa Electrica - Vej O Sol (Spiritual South remix)(Raw Fusion)
    CD-R
    *

            Renovation Unlimited feat Roy Ayers - Antonata (Obliqsound) CD-R
    *

            Intuit - Intuit (Compost) CD-R
    *

            Da Lata - Can it be (Spiritual South remix)(Palm Beats) 12"
    *

            John Beltran - Kissed by the sun/Yor colors (Buscemi & Osunlade
    mixes)(Ubiquity) 12"
    *

            Jiva - Confessions (Giant Step) CD-R
    *

            Double U - Life behind a window (Sonar Kollektiv) CD-R
    *

            Markus Enochson feat. E Man - Sweet love (Alex Phountzi
    mix)(Flamingo Disco) CD-R
    *

            Moonsoon - Rockin (Dimlite & Metaboman mixes)(Wool recordings) 12"
    *

            Ohmega Watts feat. the Lifesavers - A request (Ubiquity) 12"
    *

            Fernando Paiva - Orfeu Negro (Rednose Distrikt remix)(Sunshine) 12"
    *

            Beanfield - Tides (Carl Craig, Beanfield, Chateau Flight
    remixes)(Compost) 12"
    *

            Pastaboys feat. Wunmi - Free your mind/The Chant/Babalawo (Irma
    Unlimited) 2xLP
    *

            Mixed Moods feat. Clara Hill/Deela - Stay A While/African chant
    (Gerd remix)(4lux) 12"
    *

            Rare Moods - Silk EP (Comet) CD-R
    *

            Reel People - The light (RP club mix)(Papa) 12"
    *

            Shur-I-Kan - Generations (Freerange) CD-R
    *

            Charlie Hunter & Bobby Previte - Up there (Ropeadope) CD
    *

            Trevor Loveys - The Bounce (Freerange) CD-R
    *

            Telefon Tel Aviv - I lied (Hefty) 12"
    *

            Nigel Hayes - Augustas (Ame remix)(Sunshine) 12"
    *

            Roy Davis Jr - I know what you're thinking (John Beltran
    remix)(Ubiquity) 12"
    *

            Soul Bossa trio - Dolphines (Like Human Todd Sines mix)(Irma on
    Canvas) CD-R
    *

            Skalpel - Skalpel (Ninja tune) CD-R
    *

            Cirque du Soleil - Emballa (Louie Vega & Jaffa remix)(CDS Musique)
    CD-R
    *

            Motorcitysoul - Written in the stars (INFRACom!) CD-R
    *

            Slicker - We all had a place (Hefty) CD-R
    *

            I-Wolf - Fallin (Stereotyp remix)(Klein) 12"
    *

            Sonar Lodge - Needlework (Music for speakers) CD-R
    *

            Various - Spain is different (HiTop) CD-R
    *

            Nubian Mindz Samba 909 (Head2Toe) CD-R
    *

            Various - Forum West (Sonar Kollektiv) CD-R
    *

            Quant - Getting Out
    <http://www.soulseduction.com/common/item_detail.php?ItemID=131996>
    (ecco.chamber) CD
    *

            Vanishing System - Krylon worlds (Altered Vibes) 10"
    *

            Elsa Hedberg - Open the door (Ubiquity) 2xLP
    *

            Isoul8 feat. Colonel Red - Happy (Neroli) 12"
    *

            Sandboy - Wanderlast (Hinterland) 2xLP
    *

            Vikter Duplaix feat. Wadud - Messages (!K7) 2xLP
    *

            Various - High Jazz (Niteroi) LP
    *

            Jazzinho - Astral (Gerd remixes)(ecco.chamber) CD-R
    *

            Overproof sound system - Get with it (Different Drummer) 12"
    *

            Neptune Alpha base massive - Are the stars (instrumental)(Further
    out) CD-R

    All top ranking stuff but the Banzai Republic and Teddy Rok Seven long
    players really are the best and most complete albums I have heard in ages.
    Remember, most albums you hear today are DJ/producer albums; hence they make
    for extremely ugly listening experiences as an audible CD format for car and
    home use. Koop got it right, Banzai Republic and Teddy Rok Seven have
    definitely got it right. Big up the Banzai, Music for Dreams, Tolloon and
    Jupitor guys.

     ... actually the best chart I have seen in recent times comes from the MAN
    Recloose. Now this is what I call a chart, sited recently on the
    <http://www.compost-records.com/> Compost DJ playlists and causing quite a
    stir with all the 12 year olds in Belgium who are having great difficulty
    downloading this stuff. Big up also to Matt down under, and let’s have more
    charts like this please.

    Recloose
    (11.02.2004) - Top 10 reasons to leave USA/Detroit and live in NZ
    1. Being in love (awwwshux) - -
    2. Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, neo-conservativism, new imperialism, the Patriot
    Act, code orange, Fox News etc. etc. (no-brainer here....) - -
    3. Good clean living in NZ... except for the pies - -
    4. Rugby is far superior a sport to American football - -
    5. Being woken up by the wind is better than being woken up by gunshots - -
    6. The scenery - -
    7. It´s about the best place in the world to be reclusive - -
    8. Lots of musicians in Wellington - -
    9. Good vibes, man - -
    10. Sheep - -

       Wot, no sheep in the D?

     

     

    It might as well been dropped by a goose!!!!!

    KLM continue to win the award for worst airline of the year for the fourth
    straight year running! We asked KLM chairman Leo van Wijk the recipe for
    this continued success and amazing feat as the worst airline from the worst
    airport (Schiphol) and with the worst baggage handlers in the solar system.
    Leo kindly answered our roving Cuki reporter "That we were successful in
    limiting the effects of lower revenues on our operating income, while at the
    same time improving our margins by employing absolute idiots who pass for
    human beings on the judgment that they know what a goose is." "Fragile" in
    Dutch must mean "Drop"! Sort it out Leo?

     

      Cuki in action!!!!! NOT PHOTOSHOP BIZNIZ!

      Woo woo woo! Yes, we ask the top stars in the field of nujazz and broken
    beats (all 20 of them) on how to seduce that special women you have had your
    eye on all night at your local disco. Those very first words that will
    hopefully melt her heart, and more importantly, unloosen her underclothes
    four hours later! This is what we got folks!

    Nippon Nik "My friend Alan Brown lives in Austria". Jazzimo Clubbity
    "Ohh...Yam Who interview is up on clubbity". Jmix Quebec "You look very
    smooth you". Javi Expansions "I like your freckles". Oemebamo Beyond Jazz
    "eeuhm". Karmakoma, Downtown "Chay, kofe, potanzuyem?", "pivo, vodka,
    polezim?" Jimpster "I have a fear of large breasts"

     

      Nippon Nik playing the latest Japanese nuggets!!!!!!!

     

     

     

    Alan Brown. Soul Seduction Distribution, Zur Spinnerin 19, A-1100, Vienna,
    Austria.

    Mob/SMS +43 699 1260 4000, e-mail <mailto:cukipapa_at_chello.at> cuki
    <mailto:cukipapa_at_chello.at> papa_at_chello.at <http://web.icq.com/>
    <http://people.icq.com/whitepages/about_me/1,,,00.html?Uin=177682136> #
    177682136 <http://messenger.msn.com/> <mailto:cukipapa_at_hotmail.com>
    cukipapa_at_hotmail.com

     



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